Let me start by saying that I’m aware of the ironic nature of this post…. Ok, now that that’s out of the way:
There is a pretty major difference between my non-believing self and the non-beliefs of other people that I’ve met or have read about… I am not a rabid anti-religion dickhead. I do not care what you practice or believe, so long as you are cool with me, I’m cool with you. Seriously. (Unless you eat babies or rape people because God said so… then we’ll talk.) 99% of the time, I express tolerance. I am most interested in how someone acts… not what they believe.
If I am in a public setting, and somebody brings up their beliefs, they almost always assume that you are inline with what their religion. Most people either assume that I am a Christian (because I’m caucasian, I guess) or that I’m pagan (pagans are the ones assuming this). Actually, I’m not either, nor do I follow any other religious beliefs. The closest thing I can find to what I believe, or don’t believe, is Secular Humanism. If you ask me outright if I am x, y, or z, I’ll tell you, in as few words as possible, what I do and don’t believe. Otherwise, I’m just likely to smile and nod and just go along with the conversation as pleasantly as I can, unless something is mentioned that I’m really not ok with (like the aforementioned baby-eating).
For example. Lady who is ringing up my groceries says “Did you hear about the tsunami in Japan? I’ll be praying for them.” Is this the time to debate religion or treat her like she’s a moron because she thinks that praying will help the people suffering after a tsunami? Hell no. What good would that do? Smile and nod. Keep your comments to yourself.
Example two: At a family dinner, Grandmother asks us to bow our heads to say grace. Will I flat out refuse, make a big deal out of being forced to follow their religious procedures, protest my rights to keep my head up, or leave the table in disgust? No, I’ll probably bow my head and listen to what they are saying, and take that blessing and apply it somehow to my own beliefs. After all, I *am* thankful for the food and company. When it’s done, I’ll quietly skip the Amen.
One thing that annoys me about some religious practices is that they try to make more of their members by attempting to convert people. So, I always made it a point to not try to force my beliefs on others, no matter how “wrong” I thought they were. If you are interested in hearing what I think, I’ll tell you. I might even have a casual debate, if you’re into that and it’s consensual. But I won’t argue with you or get caught in circular reasoning (“My religion is the right one because that book says so”). It’s boring, frustrating, and fruitless.
If people have decided to put their faith in something, whether it be a God, a person, or a rock or something, then I will probably not change their mind in the course of a conversation. I can guarantee you that they will not hear anything past the words “see, this is why I think you are wrong…” Also, why bother? How does it hurt you if the person believes something different? Will converting them to atheism really make your life so much better? Or do you just enjoy arguing with people or trying to make them feel inferior?
Even worse, blatantly making fun of their religion, their jewelry, their garb, their customs… what is the point of that? Do people who do that just want to look like assholes? I’ll admit, I’ve said some pretty snarky things about people and their belief systems. But this is behind closed doors and not in the presence of anyone who may be offended. Which is good, because I can be pretty damn offensive when I want to be.
I have friends who are Jewish. I have Christian friends. Pagan ones. Muslim ones. Hindus, Buddhists, Baha’i, Shakers, Quakers, Santerians, Deists, Theists, Atheists, Subgenius’s, and those who believe in the Flying Spaghetti Monster. My friends know what I am and am not. They also know that I don’t give a crap what they are, and that I think that it’s fun to share information and learn about culture.
Expressing tolerance will help me travel the world. It will help me teach my children to be open-minded about all kinds of cultures and practices. That will help them get along better with people (which is, funny enough, something that is very important to my ethics and morals). Tolerance will help me keep my sanity, as well. Could you imagine the internal struggle of someone who desperately wants to tell everyone around them just how wrong they are?
So, what *do* I do to “promote” my beliefs? I act like me. Pretty normal, open minded, kind when I can be, and honest. I let people guess or assume what I am, until an opportunity comes up to discuss it. Then I lay it on them… shocking! I’m not Christian/pagan/whatever they thought I was! By this point, they know me and they know what I’m about, and they can’t not like me just because I’m not what they are. That’s a great way to open their mind a little and try to accept more people that don’t fall into their category of safe or normal.
Sure, I have thoughts about religion and its place in the world. No, you won’t hear them here. I really don’t feel like alienating huge percentages of the population. I will happily tell you what I believe in, but you’re not going to hear why everyone else is wrong. (If you want to sit with me and commiserate on why the world would be better without gods, then let’s have lunch… you’re buying.)
