I have a lot of names.  Not as many as most Hispanic or hard core Catholic people I know, but still enough that it can get confusing.  Here is a (somewhat) brief history of my name(s):

I was born as Elizabeth Joy Wolski.  That’s what is printed on my birth certificate.  My social security card, however, read Elizebeth Joy Wolski, and that is how I’ve always spelled my first name.

I was named Eliza/ebeth by my Mother - after one of her best friends, and fellow majorettes, in high school.  Joy comes from a Bible verse: “Weeping may endure the night, but Joy cometh in the morning.”  Wolski is my Father’s last name, and is a “Polish and Eastern German name (of Slavic origin): habitational name for someone from one of many places called Wola (pronounced “Vole - uh”).  Wola was named in Latin as libera villa, or “free village” ie, a settlement  which was awarded liberty or relieved from certain duties.”  Wolski is very common… the Polish equivalent of “Smith.”

I was called Joy when I was born (oh, the irony!).  When I was 5, and in kindergarten, I got a horrible haircut - it looked like a boy’s bowl cut, but lopsided.  It may have been my mom’s attempt at fixing a do-it-myself job, but whatever it was, it was awful, and I was teased pretty mercilessly.  While I had this haircut, we put on a class play, and we chose our parts out of a hat.  I got “Boy.”  Granted, it was the lead roll, but you can see why a girl with a hideous haircut does not want to be called Boy, especially when her name rhymes with it.  So, yes, you can see where this is going… I became Joy the Boy. 

So, I changed my name.  I asked to be called Elizebeth instead.  The whole thing… only two people were ever allowed to call me “Liz” (you know who you are).  This worked well until 6th grade, when my Dad helpfully said that my name was too long and perhaps I should go by my initials.  Always trying to be the people pleaser, I went with it, and was known by EJ for a few years.  I switched back to Elizebeth when the creative people in school began to call me BJ instead… that would be the start of high school.

Most of the way through high school, friends started to call me Kaj (pronounced like sky without the s).  I had other nicknames, like Nox, and Bob.  Not to mention the myriad of names I wore in Spanish class: Elisa, Isabel, Tristeza, Alegria, Gertrudis…. 

Kaj stuck with me when I went to college the first time, and then followed me to Tampa for several years.  When I moved back to Atlanta, I went back to just Elizebeth, and I’m happy right here.  When I married my husband, I took his last name, but have kept my maiden name close by as a reminder of who I am, and out of respect for my family.  When I started my facebook account, I used all four of my major names so that people could find me better, no matter what part of my past or present they were from.

With all these names in mind, and the life and personality shifts that came with them, Tyme and I opted to give our kids “flexible” names.  

Carmen is Carmen Victoria.  The first night that Tyme and I met, he said “Someday, I would like to have a daughter named Carmen.”  So, that part was easy enough…. Victoria came from our love of classical/historical names, the strength behind it, and the fact that she was, in fact, our little victory over infertility. 

There are a good number of nicknames related to her own names that she could use… Carly (she’s tried this one already, but there were two other Carlys in her class, and a Keeleigh and Coley).  Tori, Vickie, etc.

Carolyn is Carolyn Alexandra.  She is named after my Grandmother.  She is the second daughter of a second daughter of a second daughter of a second daughter, and she’s named for the first second.  My grandmother is an amazing lady… the Matriarch of our family for sure.  She needed someone named after her, and I’m glad I could do it.  Her middle name came about for nearly all the reasons as Carmen’s - beautiful, flexible, feminine, ancient.

She could be Carol, Carey, Lyn, Alex, Lexy, Xandra, etc.

We’ll let our kids decide if they want to shift to another name or nickname as they are growing.  I think it’s important that they have the option to do that.  With any luck, they won’t be as identity-confused as I was, though…..