This is my response to my own post, “Country Crap.”  

Living out here rocks.  The benefits far outweigh the downsides.  Here are just a few examples:

1) You can see the stars.  Lots of them.  You can clearly see the Milky Way.  The air is so clear that I can point my camera at Jupiter and capture his four major moons without using a tripod.  

2) There are trees.  Lots of them.  We live on about 6 acres, and 5 of them are wooded - mixed pine and hardwood.  They turn colors, shade the lot, host lots of interesting critters, and fall down sometimes for a bit of excitement and free firewood.  My kids climb them and build forts using them, and they are a source of beauty, inspiration, and oxygen.

3) I can’t see my neighbors.  More importantly, they can’t see me.  I can milk the goats naked or have bawdy hot tub conversations and no one is around to complain about it.

4) Our driveway is a quarter mile long.  The kids can play outside and not bother or be bothered by anyone, and there is no chance that they will get hit by a car.  The cats can come and go as they please for the same reasons.  Traffic noise is a minimum and careless drivers are a non-issue.  

5) I feel completely safe and at peace here.  Someone would have to be a fucking idiot to burglarize us - you can’t scope out the house unless you are in the yard, and the odds of getting stuck on the driveway with a cop on the other end are too good.  Also, the crime rate is REALLY low.  The only crime we really have here are occasional drunk drivers and people growing pot in their yard.

6) Life is more simple out here.  There are no Jones’ to keep up with.  Our kids won’t be bullied for not wearing designer clothing.  In fact, they can wear their “Will trade boyfriend for tractor” tee shirt and their friends will just think it’s funny, or possibly accurate.  No one will judge our family for what we’re driving, either, or how our yard looks (thank god; it looks like the goats did the landscaping right now).

7) No one gives a crap what color we paint our house or what kind of mailbox we have.  Screw you, HOAs.

8) We can have farm animals, and this doesn’t make us stand out as being weird.  Actually, it can help us blend in.  Also, when your pets get annoying, it’s socially acceptable to eat them.

9) You can bond with the locals over weird shit, like guns.  If you’re talking to someone, and things aren’t going well, mention their gun rack or holster and ask what they own.  Suddenly, you have something in common… though it might be your brand of shotgun, where you get your deer processed, or where you buy your hay.

10) People here help each other and look out for one another.  One of my favorite stories: We had only lived here for about two months, and we had applied for a passport for a 11 month old Carmen so that we could travel to the UK.  We had it expedited, just in case it was one of the times when it took many months to get processed.  The Sunday afternoon before Christmas, we got a knock on our door.  It was our Postmaster… he had seen the envelope with her expedited passport in it, and thought that maybe we needed it to travel for Christmas, so he wanted to get it to us ASAP.  The thought that he took the time, on a SUNDAY, to drive it out to our house really warmed my heart.

We participate with the helping… our mail lady had told us about one of the customers on her route who’s family was suffering - an unemployed grandfather had been saddled with four of his grand kids and was having problems feeding them.  We gave her home made cheese and eggs to take to them several times.  I have no idea where these people live, or who they are, but knowing that we helped in some anonymous way, and that our mail lady helped deliver (heh) made me feel so much more human.  This never would have happened in suburbia. 

11) We can have bonfires.  Big ones.

12) You never run out of things to laugh about.  Country living is ridiculous, because people here do things their own way and don’t really care what others think.  

13) We can toss the girls outside to play, and they never run out of things to do.

14) We’re not that far from civilization - there is a 24 hour Ingles 4 miles down the road, Athens is 15 minutes away, and Atlanta is a little over an hour away.

15) We FEEL far from civilization.  This makes us a great getaway for friends and relatives.  Well, that, and the hot tub.

16) Land is cheap, so you get more house and plot for your money.  If we were to buy exactly what we have here, but in, say, California, it would cost 5 million dollars.  Um, no thanks.

17) Farmer’s markets are not a novelty.  They are where people buy their food.

18) You get famous quick.  This can have its good and bad sides, of course, but it’s been helpful for us so far.  I’m the red-headed artist, Tyme is the Asian Guy, and we have those two cute kids that are polite and smart.  God knows that they’re saying about us behind our backs, but I don’t really care because we’ve only ever been treated with respect and kindness to our faces.

19) You are forced to slow down a bit.  No one here is in a hurry, and don’t bother trying to rush anyone.  It reminds you to stop and smell the flowers… and the cow patties.

20) People here not only actively use, but appreciate barter and trade.  It’s still a way of life, which is awesome, especially in this economy.  We’ve traded homemade yogurt and cheese for organic water buffalo meat, for example, and Tyme’s computer abilities for tuition at the girls’ school.  Money is overrated when your neighbors need henna and you need fresh veggies.  

You would have to drug and drag me, kicking and screaming, if you wanted me to live in a city or suburb again.  I’m too spoiled by all the things I love about being out here to move back to civilization.  If you want me near you, then you’re going to have to set up a trailer on our lot.  I promise to keep the goats from eating your siding.

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